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Sounds like someone had a difficult day today, but will soon be rewarded with a nice vacation to a domestic and international destination during one of the best months of the year

There ARE guys out there who are fragile and innocent -- but is that truly someone you'd want? Will he know how to deal with tough situations when certain traits are called for?

I'm fragile and innocent....... but yeah, mike is right, i cant' deal with touch situation, i always try to avoid touch situations.

I think that most people will avoid tough situations -- people naturally don't like change. So, it's normal, Eddy Those who choose to face tough situations tend to be the ones that stand out. I think they may also be more likely to take risks.

That's all personal speculation -- I don't have any facts to back this up with.

Michael

Fragile and innocent....hmm....nah. I would never want a boyfriend who has those traits. Fragile will make me think he is gay or that he is just as feminine than I am and innocent.....define innocent. So, you're not looking for a bad a**, you're looking for someone to bring home to momma or innocent as in pure at heart, which takes me back to the first trait.

If I were to choose two traits for my ideal mate, it would have to be confident (but not too confident - i.e. cocky) and understanding. I'm sure any girl would agree with me on these traits. So, maybe if you can define how you see fragile and innocent, we can better understand what you mean.

Well there's actually a lot of ways to define fragile and innocent. What I meant about fragile is about a man who isn't afraid to show his emotions because a lot of guys actually use that man's pride or diginity to hide their emotions and they're pretty good at hiding their feelings too. Sometimes I think guys should take the role of an actor sometimes. As for being innocent. I mean a guy is always joking around with things that do tend to be offensive but at the same time guys should have a innocent side in which they're more comfortable around the things they do. Instead of being offensive, aggressive, sensitive, afraid, etc...they should actually be calm and well patience. It's funny how I encounter a lot of guy friends who have relationship or family problems and they're always saying that it's not their fault I always laugh when it comes down to facing difficulty, some people find it offensive but I find it resolvable. Like one time, my best friend which is a guy. His mom used his cell phone and well yelled at him actually for the fact that he wasn't so nice about people using his cell. He was mad. Because his mom put the blame on him for the fact that the cell wasn't with her and it was with the other brother. I guess that's a misunderstanding and he was pissing himself off and shoving all his anger and frustration at me through the phone. I giggled a little and he was totally offended asking me why I laughed. I told him it wasn't much of a big deal it was a misunderstanding yes, but it's better for him to let it go and chill since he knows it's not his fault he should do something positive well it didn't work he was shallow but then after an hour of conversation and offending big time with his spiteful words he later apologize and said he was only testing my patience and my brain. Saying he lost and that I actually pass his test. WOAH! Pause. A Test..Man guys sure don't know woman's expectations much or their patience. That's why I say men should be innocent with their inner selves and as for fragile open a bit. Remember man are from mars woman are from venus or...is it the opposite....? But anyways get the point if man don't open up how are woman to understand and find the confident in themselves and their "man" to actually have a stronger relationship, friendship, bonding...well too much words said...sorry...I'm soooo talkative today..gg.

Ah, you're referring to his sensitivity (fragile). I associated fragile with weakness... Sorry, my bad

Sensitivity, mild/even temper, and an easy-going attitude certainly aren't bad traits.

Hahaha... a test huh? How funny. Sounds like he didn't want to admit that he was wrong, but he may have also tried to make a joke out of the awkward situation

I agree with you that men and women should be more open to each other. Have you read or listened to John Gray's "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" book? I have heard snipplets here and there and it sounds pretty good. It helped me understand women a bit better.

Michael

I'm actually reading that book right now actually. I just got it the other day when I went to Barnes and Nobles at first I was looking for mortgage books but then I decided I'm bored need something to read too so I went to the relationship section and found that book. I like it actually. It gives me a wider perspective and outlook on how us womens react to men's way and behavior and how man responds or thinks to behaving. This reminds me of pyschology actually. Cause I was going to major into that stuff until my parents chose my future for me. But it's always on my mind. I wanted to be a pyschologist or pyschiatrist which are the same but different and minor was brain neurologist.

Wow, psychology and brain surgery huh? Psychology is interesting and you could definitely use it with practically anything in real life, including sales. It's never too late to pursue what you want to do.

Hi DesIre_s,

I understand what you mean now by fragile and innocent and again, I couldn't put that better myself. Why is it that men hide their emotions so much? They don't want to give themselves away? They don't want to show any signs of weakness? It's quite annoying to not be able to understand how the opposite sex is feeling, even just a little bit. Especially when you are in a relationship, like you said, both sides should be as open as possible in order for the relationship to grow stronger.

A friend of mine is having some difficulty in her relationship because her boyfriend refuses to tell her what he is feeling most of the time. She puts up with it because she truly cares about him and she feels that she wouldn?t be where she is at without his help and millions of other reasons. I agree with her that guys don?t understand how little information/feedback we need to keep us happy.

By opening up and saying what you are feeling at that moment will help the relationship tremendously. Not just for the other person, but for yourself. That's if you want the relationship to work.

And yes, what is up with ?The Test? that guys insist on pushing. It?s so frustrating and annoying but I?m slowly beginning to play that game or sometimes I just ignore it. Hahaha*

DesIre_s wrote:Well there's actually a lot of ways to define fragile and innocent. What I meant about fragile is about a man who isn't afraid to show his emotions because a lot of guys actually use that man's pride or diginity to hide their emotions and they're pretty good at hiding their feelings too.

A Test..Man guys sure don't know woman's expectations much or their patience. That's why I say men should be innocent with their inner selves and as for fragile open a bit. Remember man are from mars woman are from venus or...is it the opposite....? But anyways get the point if man don't open up how are woman to understand and find the confident in themselves and their "man" to actually have a stronger relationship, friendship, bonding...well too much words said...sorry...I'm soooo talkative today..gg.

According to John Gray, author of "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus", men in the U.S. are raised to be strong, tough people who don't show their emotions. If they do, they are easily labeled as being "gay." We are also expected to be able to solve our own problems without the help of anyone else (ie. don't tell other people what your problem is. Fix it yourself.) Those are some of the reasons for why men may not share what they are thinking/feeling.

Women, on the other hand, tend to not be looking for a solution, but rather just someone to talk to. Dr. Gray noted that whenever a woman talks to a man, he'll instinctively think, "Get to the point. Here's what you should do to solve this problem." Whereas the female may simply want, "I don't want a solution. I just need you to listen to what I have to say."

This is one of the many differences between the two genders that can cause conflicts. Women and Men see things differently.

For example, I know 3 relationships where the females shared with me that their boyfriend isn't showing appreciation for what they are doing for the guy. The guys, in turn, become defensive whenever these issues are brought forward. To the men, they are offended because they feel that they ARE showing their appreciation. From what I have learned from my own last relationship and the 3 women that spoke to me, all of us guys showed our appreciation by taking the women to vacations and paying for practically everything so that she wouldn't have to worry about money. We worked hard for the money and feel that sharing our hard work is our way of showing how much we appreciate the relationship. We were raised to bring the "bread" (money) home -- to be the provider and protector in the relationship.

To the women in the aforementioned relationships, none of them really cared about that. What they wanted was more attention and sweet words of appreciation -- to not feel ignored or taken advantage of.

After speaking with them and reflecting upon my own relationship in the past, it was surprising how disconnected the expressions of both men and women are. Both sides feel that they ARE doing their best in showing appreciation, yet neither side sees the other person's efforts.

I decided to ensure that any relationship I get into, that she's aware of these differences and that we'd have an understanding of how men would naturally react, and I'd try to understand how women behave as well. Knowing -- and acknowledging -- each others' differences is an important part of a relationship.

Communication definitely is a big key in making a relationship work. In my last relationship, we lacked communication quite a bit and over the years, tension just built up. I understand that I didn't do my part in the relationship due to various reasons, including inexperience (it was my first ever girlfriend/date), and in my current one, I've been ensuring that an open channel of communication is maintained. For some things, I'm brutally honest and open with what I think, and for other things, I keep to myself until the time is right. We both feel that we can talk about anything without getting into a serious fight. We both listen to the other person (without immediately becoming defensive) to understand what the issue is.

Michael

Brutal honest can be a good thing, but can also be a bad thing. Woman are emotional beings. If you are too straight forward with us, we will get emotional. It's good to soften words up from time to time in order to avoid conflict or making the other person upset. There is such a thing as being too straight forward.

i think everyone needs at least one bluntly straight-up friend to give themselves a reality check tho.........

I agree with Eddy that I'd prefer to have at least 1 friend too who'd be as honest about me as possible. How else could you fix your weaknesses?

DesIre_s wrote:I'm enjoying it though, but the most important thing that I can't wait is this weekend I'm leaving to North Carolina to spend a cruise there. On top of that I'm leaving to Ireland too. After the trip to NC though. I'm excited and at the same time I'm not.

Hey, any places you have gone to recently? How was your trip to Ireland?

Michael