Long Distance relationships

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Mikey_
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Post by Mikey_ »

Good idea...

Shoot, I've already forgotten the 1st recipe. Shucks. There will be another time.
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Lexi
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Post by Lexi »

Hi Mike and MB,


Shrimp, that sounds delicious. I hang out with a Vietnamese girl at work who has introduced me to several scrumptious salmon dishes. Just the other day she shared her lunch with me. I am not even sure what it was. I could have sworn she said it was something like hot pot but that sounds a bit strange and so I may have heard her wrong. Who knows? It was delicious though. I pounced on it like a starving woman. :-)

I hope that you enjoyed your vegan restaurant, MB. I do love veggies but I don’t think I could ever go vegan. I love seafood, too much for that. I can see myself one day cutting red meat from my diet if I needed to. I never have been too crazy about steak. I rarely touch dishes with too much red meat in them but I could never give up seafood. If you want to know the absolute truth the one food that I could never live without is tomato. Oftentimes, especially right now that I am on my own, I will simply toast bread and eat it with tomatoes kind of like bruschetta. Tomatoes and an occasional piece of chocolate are all I need.

I wish I had more of opportunities to cook. I don’t cook that often for myself for a couple of reasons: 1) I have a busy schedule and time wise, I find it easier to eat out and 2) at home my mom rules the kitchen and I don’t like getting in her way. It’s not that I am spoiled by my mom but she would really just rather that I stay out of her way when she is cooking. I think it’s kind of cool, Mike, when you talk about cooking with your parents. Cooking is actually a good way to bond with people, especially your parents. Yeah, the kitchen has never really been a good place for me to bond with my parents. My mother is ultra conservative and spends her days trying to get me to go to church or some church function with her. The only bonding she wants to do is at church. :)

I respect her religious views and those of everyone else but I tend to be liberal and my ideas are not always in line with the teachings or scriptures of the church. Needless to say, I have always felt a little uncomfortable in my parent’s church and now that I am an adult, I really find no need to be there. I do volunteer at the church from time to time, especially during tax season, but other than that, I would just as soon stay away. I have not really found a church yet that is a match for my belief system. From my limited knowledge if the world’s religions, I think I might be leaning towards being Hindu. That sounds bizarre even to my ears but it is true. Hindu’s are a nonviolent group and I kind of like what they preach. Who knows though? I don’t know enough about it. For now, I’m happy just popping in to the Catholic church every so often and volunteering for different causes.

So you went kayaking, Mike? That’s cool. I still have never done that but I did go rowing a few weekends ago. It was so much fun! I was a bit scared at first. I am not sure why, I just was a little anxious about it but it turned out to be pretty fun. I am really glad to hear that you are having fun, Mike.

My last day of work is October 22nd. I am relieved and at the same time, I am not. I am happy to be going back to my permanent job but at the same time, I know that I need to start looking for a job in OC that earns more money than what I am currently making. It’s not that I am obsessed with money. I am not obsessed with money. I am simply very well aware of the minimum income that I need to be earning in order to survive in OC and still plan for my retirement. There are some important decisions that I need to make concerning work in the next few days. Too tired to go into more detail tonight… I am happy and grateful that I even have a job though. I know that there are still many others that wish they were in my shoes and so I am definitely grateful for a lot of things.

Anyway, I gotta run. Not sure when I will be back in here next (Call me whenever, MB! :-D ) but I do hope that you both have a fantastic week!

Ciao!
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Mikey_
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Post by Mikey_ »

Going to Disneyland later today with 3 female friends. May meet up with 2 co-workers as well :) Can't wait! "It's a small world after all..." -- love that ride!
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Post by mb_rockstar »

you're such a geek. :P

[Edit: Added Picture]

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Mikey_
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Post by Mikey_ »

Lexi, want to join us for Knott's Scary Farm this Friday, the 21st?

Michael
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Post by Lexi »

Sorry, Mike, I didn't see your message until Tuesday was it? Not sure. I came in here briefly to post but had to leave. I hope you had a good time though. I'll have to call you for a chat or something. I've been way too busy (but having fun) to come in here and poor my heart out in one of my notoriously long and sometimes loony messages. Email me your number, when you have a moment or I'll just get it from MB the next time we talk. Have a great day!! :)
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Mikey_
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Post by Mikey_ »

Wow, it's been a long time since we posted in this thread. Lexi, I promise: I'll reply to your e-mails soon.

When are you coming back to Orange County?
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Distance Relationships isn't so bad..

Post by DesIre_s »

From my previous experiences, since I'm a girl I can tell the feelings held between a boyfriend and a girlfriend far distance relationship.
It's not easy for each other. In situations like yours it's more of a test. In which love, trust, loyalty, and faith. It's a way to see if you're still going to be true to yourself and for your companion.
If you believe that she'll be fine and she believes that you're fine that there shouldn't be any worries. Becaus what she's doing is benefiting herself for you as well as what you're doing for your own goods.
Long distance relationship is base on your understanding on each other and your border lines to your limitations. It's premonition and fear but if you let that continue your relationship will go down the hill.
I've been there. For me, I met my boyfriend online, the only reason why I left my boyfriend was because his parents wanted him to marry someone closer to him. Knowing that I can't really give him my presence I let him choose.
It was a hard relationship struggle but we both knew that it was courage that helped us to let each other go. So now we're best friends. Always worrying about each other. Sometimes he want to come back to me but I know things change with time. But it's always a chance that you'll grab to have that opportunity, experiences and that feeling.
So keep your faith up and stay in the relationship be patience good deeds will come after hardship. :-D :)
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Mikey_
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Post by Mikey_ »

Hi Desire,

Sorry to hear about you and your boyfriend. The good thing is, you both have the strength and courage to separate even though your hearts tell you two otherwise. That's tough for a person...

As for me, I have moved on a while ago. The only thing I still would like to re-establish is friendship with my ex-girlfriend because despite everything that was said and done to each other, she's still someone I hold dear. I have a new girlfriend to take care of now and hopefully my new insights, experiences, and new-found self will be good for this relationship. But you know, there's still that big hole in my heart -- she was a big part of me.

Michael
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Post by mb_rockstar »

Time heals all wounds.
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Strength

Post by DesIre_s »

It does take a lot of courage, strength, vitality and love to move on as well as forgiving. Even though it leaves a big gap it also gives me a memory to keep. I tend not to be friends with any of my ex because it takes a lot of courage and strength to let go of each other and to be friends is like torturing them day by day.
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Post by Mikey_ »

I have long forgiven the things my ex has said or done and can only hope that she has done the same for me. She certainly doesn't want to come back to a romantic relationship and neither do I. However, I still would like to rebuild our friendship -- whenever she's ready and open for it.

Not being friends with someone as to not torture the other person may be the right thing to do if one of them still wanted to get back together, but in my situation, that no longer is the case after almost 2 years. At the same time, NOT being friends has been quite a torture almost every single day of my life. It still hurts that we aren't friends any more, but as stated in the Friendship thread: I usually offer my friendship to those I care about, even if they have long forgotten about me or we have done each other wrong in the past. That's part of my definition of a true friend.

Staying away from your ex's so that you can fully provide your attention (and alleviate any concerns) to your present girlfriend could also be the right thing to do. It depends on how strong you are in keeping the separation between friendship and romantic love, and how much your girlfriend trusts you. I am thankful that my girlfriend understands the gap in my being, and respects and trusts me with wanting to remain friends with my ex. She had been "family" since back in 2000, and a family doesn't abandon its members. Like my definition of a true friendship, the family waits for the sibling to one day return, or for him or her to accept the family back.

That said, I am happy to report that tonight will be the last meeting of my 3rd MBA class. Woot! Seven more to go... almost half-way there! :) It doesn't seem that far away any more... I'm also excited that the scuba-diving class is starting in about a week, and my father finally gets his chance to go visit his family (our grandmother, uncles, aunts, ...) in Europe for a month in a couple weeks :) I've sort of been able to convince my parents to take a family trip sometime in the Fall or Winter of this year -- we haven't had one since 1991 when we still lived in Austria. I'm thinking of the East coast or a camping trip to Yosemite :) Maybe Hawaii. Anywhere but Orange County, CA, that's for sure! There were talks of one of my dearest cities as well: San Francisco. It's the "other" home I know almost as well as where I live.

Michael
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Friends

Post by DesIre_s »

USually that's one thing why I never wanted to be friends with them. Because usually even if I am the first to make the iniative to be friends I guess it hurts them a lot to accept the fact that we can only be friends after all the hardship we've been through. So they walk away from me. Even though I always said I'd let my door open for them when they're ready. I call every now and then but I'm always avoided. And I don't get it. When I bump into them they always tend to look away or look down to avoid my eyes. As if they're still in pain or something. Do you know.?
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Post by mb_rockstar »

Everyone is different. Some are more accepting than others. It's not easy for someone to open up even after they've been through a lot with that person. It takes time...
"The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do."
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Post by Mikey_ »

It may be that they look away because they don't know what to say. It's like with any type of relationship (including friendship): if you haven't seen each other for a long time or if you have experienced something bad together, you may feel that there is nothing left in common.

That may be so and for a friendship to rekindle, it would take time and effort from both sides to try to re-establish a common ground, even if it may appear there's none left. You weren't friends for so long for no reason, right?

There are some people who I used to consider friends -- until we stopped talking for a very, very long time. I still have good vibes for them, but talking to them after so long seems awkward. Hence, you may be inclined to look away. Either way, it would take time and effort to re-establish something. Whether it is worth your (or their) time to do that, that is another question.

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usually for me

Post by DesIre_s »

I don't really look away. I look them in the face because I can still accept the fact that things have happened and it's actually over with. But mostly I'd like those people to actually be stronger and accept it too. I mean instead of looking down or away as if there's nothing there or just making it hard for me to make the first initiative. It's like telling me "aw...sorry I'm not quite over you yet or it's not or never going to be the right time." I don't really care. But one thing I know for sure is that when they do that it tells me they still somewhere along their life time think of me.
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Mikey_
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Post by Mikey_ »

I'm almost certain that they probably are thinking of you from time to time and that the reason for looking away is that they don't know what to say or would rather not talk to you for whatever reason.

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Perhaps

Post by DesIre_s »

I do believe it's that
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Mikey_
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Post by Mikey_ »

Well, as long as one side is not open to having a conversation (for lack of knowing what to say or whatever), then there likely won't be much opportunities for both sides to talk and regain the common ground. Same goes for business, obviously. If the client is hesitant to talk with you (or you hesitant to talk to him/her), how can the business deal go forward?

Business or relationship, both will end up with nothing.

Michael
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Yup

Post by DesIre_s »

Sad isn't it. I kind of wanted to still catch up with them on their life styles but I figured they didn't want to have me involve in their lives again. But it's like that song by well...I forgot who it was but it was the song for the new movie for Anna and the King
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