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Is looks more important than personality to boys and girls?

 
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twinklesstars
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 01, 2005 3:25 am    Post subject: Is looks more important than personality to boys and girls? Reply with quote

Sometimes i think guys go for looks rather than personality.

Rachel
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Mikey_
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 01, 2005 5:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'd say, looks attract people the most at first until that person's true personality is revealed.

I should say that I was lucky to have had a very beautiful, intelligent woman as my first real love. And indeed, it was her looks that first caught my eye, but after I got to know her more, her personality just made me go bonkers.

Then there were times where looks turned me off, but when their personality shined through, it made me sort of go bonkers too (not as much as with my first girlfriend though.)

I have learned over the years that personality definitely is at the top of my list followed by looks.

I have also noticed (and am also speaking from my own experience) that younger people tend to go for looks as the first priority. Hey, who can blame them? They are new to love and don't know yet what they want in their relationship except, perhaps, for companionship, coolness, and/or sex (which may actually be perceived as "love", thus unwittingly giving away their bodies too early in their relationship.)

Sadly enough too, though, is that looks and personality isn't always everything either: if one knows how the other sex thinks and knows exactly what to say or do, that person's looks and/or true personality may not be an immediate factor. There are people who are far from "pretty/handsome" but have absolutely no difficulty scoring (it's true! One of my friend's cousins has slept with almost 100 women -- and he's proud of it -- and he would be someone you'd classify as "ugly". One of them even said, "I don't care that he's ugly. I just want to be with him because he's so sweet and knows how to treat me well.")

I, personally, prefer females who are down-to-earth and aren't pretending to be something or someone they are not. I absolutely despise people who use their knowledge/experience (or pretend to have them) to play with other people's emotions.

What about you, Rachel?

Michael
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violetvv
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 01, 2005 8:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think it depends of the person if they go for the looks or the personality. I have to agree that looks is what attracts a person to one first, especially when they don?t know you. People are always nicer to you if you look good. They go out of their way to do things for you sometimes. That?s just the way things are in the real world.
From experience, I agree that young guys tend to go for the looks first, and many older ones too. It?s like they want a prize to show off to others.
I personally, do not think that one should ever go for the looks because that can be taken away at any given time. What are you going to do if the look goes?. a relationship won?t last on the basis on that. I have seen it happen.
I do not judge my relationships with others base on looks?.but on their personality., because to me, that?s what really matters.
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mb_rockstar
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 01, 2005 8:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

reality is, looks is more important to most people. as for myself, yes looks is the first thing i look for, but it all comes down to personality. as long as the person is decent looking and has a great personality and a good sense of humor, i'm all for it. Razz - Anime smile
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Eddy
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2005 10:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

yeah i guess looks is more important initially, but i don't know nowadays with internet and stuffs, i'm with my girlfriend for 3+ years and we really got to know each other and felt for each other online(personality), we knew each other thru friends but we really hit it off online just chatting our night away. But yeah i thought she was attractive when i first saw her, i think it was vice versa ... Confused

i think the most important thing for me in a relationship are the common things that two people shares. but then again..........sigh* my gf hates all my hobbies while i hate all her hobbies.... ahhhhhh i don't know......

nevermind what i said....
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Mikey_
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2005 12:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I believe that although similarities are important, having differences also is equally as important -- they help keep the relationship spicy. It also helps the couple to learn how to compromise and deal with the differences, thus helping to make the relationship also grow stronger over time wink
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Lexi
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2005 6:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Although, I do believe that these things are relative to the individual, men are widely known for being more attracted to visual stimulation than women are. This is especially true in a relationship/sexuality context. For a clear example of this we can look at the way the sex industry markets its products. Porn magazines are designed and marketed to attract men with page after page of photos (visual stimulation) of beautiful women or men. Romance novels, that write about rather than depict sexy scenes, tend to attract females.

As for me, I am attracted to good looking people. I would do ANYTHING for a night in Brad Pitt or Will Smith's bed. I think I lean towards choosing personality over looks, though as I mentioned it doesn't hurt if a guy is good looking. Kindness is extremly attractive/sexy to me. I melt over nice guys. I don't care for a super sensitive and overly feminine guy but I am attracted to down to earth, kind people.

I honestly have to say that I don't think I have yet to meet a person that I genuinely thought was totally "ugly" due to physical traits. I was raised to consider certain undesirable character traits to be "ugly" not necessarily physical traits. Each one of us has different ways of classifying "ugly". I just know that I am attracted to men of all shapes and sizes and my trend in choosing men to persue seems to be that he must be intelligent, mature, and kind. Those sound like personality traits to me.

Another big turn on is when a man smells good. Cologne or whatever seems make me happy.

Aghh! Speaking of strange and undesirable things. I'm feeling a little bit bummed. A friend from work told me today that she was having in affair on her husband. It's known of my business and I really wish she hadn't told me. I hate hearing stuff like that. The part that stinks is that her husband works at the place where my car gets serviced and he seems like such a nice guy. I am not going to tell him what his wife told me. This is known of my business and I don't want to get involved. I wish she had not told me, though. Way more information than I care to know. You know what I mean? I know these things happen and stuff. Nobody is perfect and all sorts of reasons may be the cause of the affair. Who knows? I might end up being a huge adultress someday, too. I just wish people would divorce each other or somehow split up before commiting adultry on their spouse or significant other. I understand all about sexual urges and the like. I just have always felt that it was best to break it off with a committed partner rather than cheat. If you break things off first with your spouse or partner, than it's not really cheating. Right? Who knows... To each his own, I suppose. Cheaters suck.

Lexi
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twinklesstars
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2005 10:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I hate people go for looks not for personalities. I hate guys go for slim and beautiful women but they won't go for people who are overweight and who have nice personality. I am sorry if I offend any guys in here cause I am in that situation before. They don't like the way I look in person and didn't go for my personality.


Rachel
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Mikey_
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2005 11:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rachel, sometimes it goes the other way around too though: some women refuse to give "uglier" men a chance Confused
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twinklesstars
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2005 1:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I mean guys don't give a chance for fat or overweight people. frown

rachel
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Mikey_
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2005 2:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah they do. It depends on a person's preference. For example, although averagely-built women attract me more than overweight or boney ones, I don't mind if she's slightly overweight or slightly boney.

But at the same time, if she's on the extreme of overweight or boney, it's a big turn-off for me. Partly because if she's too boney, I get afraid of hurting her and she may not like to eat as much as (or the types of food) I do (I love food.) And if she's too overweight, she may not be able to go on long hiking trips, swimming, or tennis (I like women who can physically keep up with me.) Keep in mind that those are "preferences" -- I have ignored certain activities in the past if I like her enough. Anyway, perhaps those preferences mirror nature's tendency to prefer individuals who appear to be "healthy and fit." Animals are like that... they usually go for those who appear strong, healthy, and "beautiful" (whatever that may be.)

So, the physical limitations associated with the extreme sides of weight CAN (and sometimes do) cause compatibility issues when certain activities you like cannot be done or are difficult to do. There also are sexual factors as well, but I'm not going to get into those.

There are those who LOVE big women, those who LOVE boney women, those who love strong men, and even those who love puny men. Unfortunately, it seems that "beautiful" men/women will always attract the most people -- that's sadly how nature is.

Ultimately though, it's a person's personality, experience, wisdom, respect, trust, patience, forgiveness, and loyalty that will have the biggest deciding factor on whether a relationship will last. Would you rather spend the rest of your life with someone who loves you more physically rather than emotionally? Or someone who loves you for who you are regardless of how you look? I prefer the latter although I wasn't very good at expressing that in my prior relationship, but that's a different topic in itself (about asking to have your love be the "perfect" person and losing focus on what's most important.)

There is one common thing that I have noticed and learned over the past few months: confidence. Non-arrogant confidence seems to get noticed the most -- even more so than looks. Just look at players: their confidence seems to "score" the most. However, I feel that even though more loyal individuals don't score as much, they have longer-lasting, more truthful relationships. I'd rather have that than jumping from one relationship to the next and hurt people along the way.

Did that make sense? It's a bit late and I may not be expressing myself correctly.

Michael
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twinklesstars
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2005 3:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

it does make sense to me. Thanks for your view. it not too late to express yoru feelings.

Thanks

Rachel
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DesIre_s
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 13, 2006 9:35 pm    Post subject: Does it matter... Reply with quote

I know for one fact that looks does matter to people because of how society puts it. But personality is the top of every one's list. It take time to realize such thing because majority of it isn't accepting or realizing this yet. If you were to put a gorgeous girl there and all the guys drool for her but after knowing what type of girl she is they despise her. They shouldn't be. Because they choose to like a girl like that. Those that are like picking looks first would definitely go through a lot of love phase until they find one that will actually change their lives in two. Now that is nice.
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mb_rockstar
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 14, 2006 1:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I couldn't agree more.

Mikey_ wrote:


Ultimately though, it's a person's personality, experience, wisdom, respect, trust, patience, forgiveness, and loyalty that will have the biggest deciding factor on whether a relationship will last. Would you rather spend the rest of your life with someone who loves you more physically rather than emotionally? Or someone who loves you for who you are regardless of how you look? I prefer the latter although I wasn't very good at expressing that in my prior relationship, but that's a different topic in itself (about asking to have your love be the "perfect" person and losing focus on what's most important.)

Michael

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Mikey_
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 14, 2006 2:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree. If given the choice between a BEAUTIFUL woman and an average-looking woman, I'd rather go for the average one. I have found in my experience that "beautiful" women tend not to be my type for many reasons. Yes, they are good to look at and some bad thoughts may have crossed your mind, but ultimately, I would not want to be with her.

I prefer someone more down-to-earth with a great personality and outlook (among many other things) -- and of course, if she's beautiful too, great!

Michael
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Mikey_
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 03, 2007 6:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Twinkle,

How are you doing today?

Michael
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