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When Friends Walk Away

Posted: Fri Jun 09, 2006 4:14 am
by Mikey_
What happens when a close friend suddenly wants nothing to do with you anymore? A long standing friend is suddenly gone without explanation.

The subject of friends really pushes some serious buttons - love - anger - jealously - more. Childhood friends often have the same karma as siblings or parent/child. We generally expect them to remain in our lives forever - or till death do us part.

A close friendship is a sacred bond - in which secrets are shared and the heart feels a soul connection. This frienship may be one your most intimate relationships [not sexual] - moreso than a marriage or anyone else you have in your life. What makes it special is the souls have found each other and share everything. Not to get too metaphysical - but it may be one soul having two physical experiences - the union of which creates strength and understanding.

Friends grow in different ways as they move through their lives - but there are some friends we feel are meant to stay - or need to remain in our lives because of what is shared.

Friends often go to different schools - change careers and the places they live - but now - with the Internet - it becomes easier to remain close - no matter where our friends go.

Sometimes we get upset when our friend makes choices that are not in their best interest. We usually voice strong opinions - but generally have no choice than to honor and respect the friendship by allowing the friend to experience whatever lessons they have chosen.

Then one faithful sense that something is wrong with the friendship. The other person simple does not answer/return your calls or emails with no logical explanation!

Clients have told me about losing lifelong friends for reasons they did not understand. They are broken-hearted as if a death has occurred. Sometimes you have to pay attention to the writing-on-the-wall.

The friend who 'blows you off' - has issues and may need help and personal space - or may have changed to a point where you no longer fit into each other's lives.

Remember..everything changes.. including friendships.

There are people who have no time for friends - and therefore have none. Others have many friendships with different groups of friends - it depends on the time and energy the souls share. Maintaining close friendships varies with the people involved and changing lifestyles.

We live in a time line where we are getting rid of things - issues - people - that hamper our spiritual growth. Many people at this time have decided to drop old friendships as the people involved had too many issues and they wanted more positive friends. We are healing issues and letting go of relationships that no longer work.

In the case of the close friend who suddenly dissappears from your life - some of the reasons may include:

- The person they now live with - or married - may be the jealous type - who is threaten by your friendship

- They are suffering from emotional problems and issues

- They don't like or understand who you have become

- Life has simply moved on - and that which held the friendship together - much like a marriage - has ended

Nothing is forever. All is metaphoric. All is conscious experience.

I hope you never lose a best/close friend. Honor your friendships and discuss problems openly - you may see a side to your friend you never knew existed.


Posted: Fri Jun 09, 2006 8:31 pm
by mb_rockstar
sounds like someone needs a hug... ^_^

Posted: Fri Jun 09, 2006 8:51 pm
by Mikey_
I didn't write that :) I just found that it was a powerful, hearty, eye-opening message :) About how friends can change at an instant and that friendship takes effort just like in any other relationship.

If you don't stay in touch with your friends for a while, they tend to drift away unless your bond already was very strong to begin with.

In other words, if you value your friends, make an effort to stay in touch with them.

Posted: Sun Jun 11, 2006 9:25 pm
by mb_rockstar
I know you didn't write it. dork. Why else would you site it? :P

I know how it is to not stay in touch with friends and have their relationship drift apart from you. I've gone through this for the past couple of years. I'm usually really good at keeping in touch with everyone whom I have a connection. If I don't get some sort of response within a year, I give up communication with them all together.

For the past couple of years, I've been filtering out friends from acquintances. It's sad to say that I am only left with 2 people whom I condsider friends from the past. It's ok though. It's quite a refreshing start for the new year.

Been through all that plus the guidlines of life changes

Posted: Tue Jun 13, 2006 9:30 pm
by DesIre_s
I kind of understand that part. About friends leaving you. I don't really blame my friends or care much about them when I had the premonition from the start. The kind of friends that I would consider are the kind of people who was willing to accept me for myself, chose to walk beside me and never think twice about leaving my side. Those are good friends. Friends who walks beside you and think twice and left you never even doubted or realize that they're not the only one that exist in the picture but you're also there. Friends who only cares about themselves and their environments are the kind of friends that are blinded not really understanding what true friendships are. It's about sharing, caring, love, hate, betrayal and courage to faith to being a family.

Posted: Wed Jun 14, 2006 2:03 am
by Mikey_
A friend, to me, is someone who will always stay at your side no matter if you are right or wrong. Even when you're wrong, give your advice, and if I choose not to listen, let me go through it and make my mistake (and learn from it.)

Sometimes I let my friends go through mistakes. You can't tell a person what not to do. You can only hope that whatever bad choice(s) someone (including myself) makes, that the hurt won't be so hard. Sometimes though, getting hurt realllllly bad is a good thing too: it'll wake you up and make you change.

It used to be easy for me to consider someone a friend. But over the years, my definition of friendship has considerably changed. Someone who only contacts you when he or she needs something... No. That person quickly becomes an "acquaintence."

Someone who seems to be the perfect friend... No. I have been hurt before. My trust will need to be EARNED.

Many people already know that my definition for "friendship" has changed quite a bit. I have become more cautious, and for that reason, I only have a handful of people I can truly consider "friends." And I like it that way :) Having too many friends can be mind-boggling at times.

What are YOUR definitions for friendship?


Definition of friends

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 8:58 am
by DesIre_s
I've been through a few friends who left me with all the difficulties to solve on my own. I've been through friends who wants something from me. I've been through friends who call themselves my friends only to turn around and stab me in the back.
The kind of definiton I'd give for a friends are friends who are the ones who made a choice to stand by me either it's right or wrong like you said but also knowing that they chose to be friends with me they should share everything from right to wrong with me. It's call growing stronger together and learning mistakes from each other to balance each other's expectations.
Things do tend to change when it comes down to friends because a lot of peopel lost that morale of understanding what friend stands for. But for me, I'm not going to forget that. I've shed a few drops of my blood for friends who has given up on me. And now I turn to those who have always stand by my side always supporting me and always advising me in life. It is the matters of what is right and wrong but everyone always tend to lean on one another in life to go on. If walking the path and it's only by oneself it's a lonely road and a rough road for one person. It's always good to at least have another one to come along and stand beside.

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 11:41 am
by Mikey_
I completely agree with you on everything you have said. I've made mistakes in the past, present, and surely in the future. Those who stand beside me, right or wrong (and letting me know whenever I'm wrong) are truly who I consider friends. I try to do the same for my friends, and have shared my honest opinions with even more so than in the past. Sometimes they get offended, sometimes they are thankful. The important thing is: somebody had to tell them, and I hope that my friends will continue to do the same for me. Nobody is perfect, as the saying goes.

There are a few people in my past who I still consider friends. They may have long forgotten about me, but my friendship is still there if they want it.

I think that's what true friendship is all about: being there even when the other people sort of have forgotten about you.


Those who forgotten you...

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 6:05 pm
by DesIre_s
Friends who have forgotten you is always what you say you're open toward them whenever they want to be friends. But I wouldn't because I know it's not worth my time. I value my time and my every day life since I only have years to live to the fullest. Every day rustic always keep me busy to the point that I don't even have the chance to stop and look around me and see that I have a dream I want to fulfill. If a dream takes a long time to fulfill and I only have a few years to live it then I might as well find the most interesting things in life and enjoy it. Those who come into my life I'll cherish but those who don't I'm letting it go. There's many things in the sea but if you're not careful you're net might not work correctly or you'll have to replace it. Better yet don't get it tear up.

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 6:28 pm
by mb_rockstar
Well said DesIre_s. I couldn't have said it better. :)

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 7:03 pm
by Mikey_
Wise words indeed. Thanks for that perspective :)

Posted: Sun Jul 16, 2006 5:06 pm
by pumpkin_annie
i think when close friends/boyfriends/girlfriends walk away, you have to let them go without a grudge...everyone changes constantly and people go off to do their own thing or they need time to find themselves or you just grow apart...i know i am a significantly different person than i was 2 years ago...just because your friends leave doesn't mean they weren't sincere...

we all have our problems and weaknesses...all you can really do is be grateful for the experience you had with them and let them go...i think a lot of the time we get into relationships and friendships with too many expectations and attachments...and that really limits how many friends we make and how close we can get to others...

i know some people have certain standards for who they will even consider being friends with and if you don't meet that standard, it doesn't matter how great of a person you are because they've already stereotyped you...and that's sad because i think you miss out on a lot...

some of the best friends i've ever had challenged me the most and hurt me the most but they enriched my life & helped me grow so much that i don't regret any of a way, without all the good and bad there would be no me as i am today.

Posted: Sun Jul 16, 2006 10:11 pm
by Mikey_
Annie, I completely agree with you that both bad and good friends are important in one's life. I have become who I am now as a result of the good friends I have had/have and the bad people I met or once trusted.

You are who you are now because of the people you met in the past.


Posted: Wed Jul 19, 2006 4:09 am
by twinklesstars
I agree all of you cause I feel the same way about them and I saw them once in a while and they didn't even say hi to me or anything. I feel that they ignore me and doesn't want to know me at all. Did I done something wrong to them to treat me like this?

Posted: Wed Jul 19, 2006 4:40 pm
by mb_rockstar
Twinklesstar, if you have to ask yourself if you did something wrong to make these so-called friends ignore you, they probably weren't really your friends to begin with. Or quite possibly there was a big misunderstanding that you weren't aware of. In any case, for those who I use to know and ignore me right now, I just blow them off and figure they weren't friends anyways. Basically, it's their loss. hahaha* Not to sound conceited or anything, but honestly Twinklesstar, you seem like a really nice person and I don't see why anyone wouldn't want to be your friend. :) And like Mike and Annie says, the people you encounter and interact sorta makes you who you are today. :D So embrace everyone who comes into your life, but let go of the ones who doesn't bring out the good in you.